Ok – as previously mentioned I’m a daily commuter here in Perth.
I catch the train to and from work every day – same station to same station.
In the course of my travels over the past few years I have developed some major issues with my chief irritants. Here they are:
5. Parking – when I first started catching the train if I got to my station around 8am I could get a parking spot on the street directly opposite the station. Over the years the parking spot I get has steadily gotten further away. Then it went into the station car-park, nowadays I’m lucky if I can snag a spot on the verge! Where are all these extra people coming from? Also, people never park in the bays properly! On the street I often see people parked straddling bays. In the station carpark there are no lines marked but how hard is it to park parallel to the person next to you and not too far away? I often see cars parked almost a car-width apart. For bad parkers my penalty is – their cars should be crushed into a cube!
4. Inconsiderate sitters – some people, once they’ve got a seat, won’t stand for anyone. Now this is only mildly annoying most times (I always stand unless the train is half empty – I can do with the exercise! but when there are little old ducks swaying in the corridors what sort of deadbeat refuses to stand. Or worse, pretends they can’t see. And when they’re in the priority seating its even worse. For those people I prescribe a heavy-duty enema – that’ll get them off their bums!
3. Bikes on trains – I dislike bikes on trains at any time of day by please don’t bring your bikes on peak hour trains! Its against the rules and its is obviously inconsiderate. I have seen people jamming bikes into 5:15pm pea hour trains that are already jam-packed! How retarded must these morons be? The only light in this bleak category is I have witnesses the odd train-driver announce over the p.a. that the train won’t leave the station until the bike gets off! My modified penalty for bike interlopers - manacled and forced to run behind the Australind.
2. Smoking on the platform – again, another mindless and egregious breach of the rules.There are signs all over pointing out that you can’t smoke on the platform. And yet these in-bred half-wits still insist on inflicting their noxious fumes on the rest of us. I can’t even begin to tell you my hatred of this. For these people my punishment is summary crucifixion and even that is too good for them.
And my number 1 pet peeve on the train – people who refuse to move out of the doorway! What the hell is wrong with these people? Are they really so insecure that they can’t bear the thought of being more than three feet from the doors. How many times have I seen a train pull up to the station, the doorway so packed you can’t force your way inside, but the corridors just outside the doorways completely empty! Do these people enjoy being squished together like sardines? Are they hoping to cop (or receive) a grope? What is going through their pathetic tiny minds? I don’t get it and it drives me bonkers. I’d understand if they were getting off at the next stop but the same people I have to push past to get into the train I have to push past to get off. I’ve been catching the train for years – I have always moved right away from the doors – and I have NEVER missed my stop because I couldn’t get to the doors. My penalty for these security-blanket clutching Linuses – I curse them to endless train rides with their noses pressed into the armpits of unwashed homeless people.
Ok – that’s my top 5. I haven’t bothered to include the obvious bo/bad breath or the like. Any pet peeves to add?
