Spare the rod?

I think that becoming a parent changes you in more ways than just the obvious.

I used to be a hard-hearted bastard. I still am – but some things really get to me that never used to. For example, I hate reading about abused children. I used to be able to read that stuff but now it really gets to me. The hard thing is that I still have to read it. I can’t just ignore the stories but I know that I’m going to hate it while I’m reading it.

Now, a few days ago there was a story in the newspaper about a guy pleading guilty to the assault of his step-son. He beat this child so hard this kid had bruising all over his back. Did this guy go too far – absolutely. Was this an example of smacking gone wrong? Absolutely not!

This was never about smacking – this was about an adult who could not control themselves taking out their frustrations on a helpless child. What always makes me angry is when abusive parents say they inflicted the beating because the child wouldn’t settle down and/or be quiet! Do they seriously think that inflicting a beating on a child is going to settle them???

Now today I read about another step-father who literally beat his 5 year old step-son to death. The comments out of that man’s mouth made me furious.

A few things spring immediately to mind

1. where were these children’s mothers and why weren’t they protecting their children,
2. why expose these children to abuse males and not leave when they show signs of abuse
3. why are men taking on children that they obviously don’t want
4. why are men committing these horrific crimes on the most innocent members of our community, and
5. what can be done?

To do nothing is unacceptable. What type of society are we living in where this can happen?

Then, two days ago we read of a baby abondoned in a garbage bin and found at a waste recycling facility in Perth. Is this what we’ve come to where a baby can be discarded like trash.

I am almost moved to tears to read these stories. I read the words and cannot understand how this could happen. I look at my children and wonder how anyone could do such things. I listen to the stories and can only think that those adults could have never loved those children.

I think of my own upbringing. I don’t consider that I was smacked – I was beaten.

As a result, I always swore I would never smack my children. Yet here we are, I’m the father of four children and I do smack. I will give my children a count to three to stop their behaviour – then I will give them a smack on the hand or the bum with an open hand. I’m never happy that I have to smack and I often regret it afterwards – but I don’t consider my smacking to be beating… but perhaps my children see it differently?